Doggie Prayers

(This was sent to me in an email.)

 Dear  God:  Is it on purpose our names are the  same, only reversed?
 

 

 Dear  God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but  seldom, if ever, smell one another?

  

 Dear  God:  When I get to heaven, can I sit on  your couch? Or is it still the same old  story?

 

 Dear  God:  Why are there cars named after the  jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the  stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for  a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding  around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so  hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the  'Chrysler Beagle'?

 

 Dear  God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the  forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad  Dog?

 

 Dear  God: We Dogs can understand human verbal  instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns,  clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic  energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do  humans understand?
 

  

 

 

Dear  God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti,  please.

 Dear  God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there  are, will I have to apologize?
 

 Dear  God:  Let me give you a list of just some  of the things I must remember to be a good  Dog.

  

1. I  will not eat the cat food before they eat it or  after they throw it up.

 

2. I  will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs,  etc., just because I like the way they  smell.

 

3.  The Litter Box is off limits.

 

4.  The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

 

5.  The garbage collector is not stealing our  stuff

 

6. I  will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear  when he's on the toilet.

 

7.  Sticking my  nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable  way of saying 'hello'.

 

8. I  don't need to suddenly stand straight up when  I'm under the coffee table

 

9. I  must shake the rainwater out of my fur before  entering the house - not after.

 

10. I  will not come in from outside and immediately  drag my butt across the carpet.

 

11. I  will not sit in the middle of the living room  and lick my crotch.

 

12.  The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play  with him and he makes that noise, it's usually  not a good thing.

  

 P.S.  Dear God:  When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles  back?